Insanity? Yep I think so.

Well, when I woke up this morning I tried to put it off. I reset my alarm in hopes that I could convince myself that I did not need to get up. I could easily start tonight and blah blah blah. I tried and failed. I looked at the clock and stared at the ceiling just thinking. I knew I would not change anything until I made the first step, the first step was getting my lazy ass out of bed.

Cassie was going to get up with me but stayed up much too late doing work, so I was on my own. Let me tell you this the program is slightly intimidating especially since even on you tube there isn't a guy my build doing it. I got some water put the dogs away and pushed play. The fit test I did ok, about half of what the fit people did. Feeling good but had tons of jumping which is hard on my joints, knees are sore and feet are aching.

I will endure and continue to press play each day until I fit my jeans that are in my drawer of disappointment upstairs. This is where my pant that are too small go to spend an extended hiatus. Most have not seen the light of day in 2 or more years. I also want my overall health to improve, need to lower the blood pressure so they don't push the meds again. Dodged that bullet last time but she painted a bulls-eye on me and threatened me that if I didn't get it down by next time I saw her she would put me on them. Soooooooooo.

Here we go.

Day one stats, 302.8 lbs 41" waist

Lets make those all come down.

Jess

Of best laid plans

Was all ready to do the insanity work out, woke up early and put in the dvd and .............. error........ error...... no video........no audio. Craptastic. my borrowed dvd's did not play in my system. Mr. Shaun T. you have left me no option but to purchase your system. That arrived today so first thing tomorrow morning we will see how you do.  I am guessing I will be quite miserable but who knows. I will let you know as soon as I know.

Long Time No Post

Wow, It has been a while and it seems everything in the world has conspired against any will I had to lose the weight. School, work, and most recently the mother in-law has been hospitalized with a ton of injuries leaving us to deal with her household and ours. ACKKKK!!!!!!!!!! Stress is a complete killer! Well after last weekends decadence from Oktoberfest, I was right back to square one. I did however walk back home from the fest grounds Friday afternoon...... it was a 2 1/2 hour walk so not sure how many miles but I was dead tired when done. Sunday thru today I watched my calories and did some walking and have lost 6 pounds since Sunday, so it is a start. Under my calorie goals and will start INSANITY on sunday. I hope this is the end of stress and the start of a new me. By the way I am realistic that I probably lost alot of junk so that is the huge loss but I am still happy...... So long as the scale is not just malfuntioning and playing a cruel joke on me.

until next week,
jess

Now what?

A wise man once said, everybody falls down at some point. The key is what you do after that. Well I intend to dust my self off and start again.

Life got hectic with my finals at the end of June and just the busy time of summer that I fell of the exercise wagon and got drug behind it for a while. I guess I need to just sit down and set up a plan. This is the part I have the most trouble with. How much how often and what meal plan to use. I will get it figured out but the start will be tonight. I will have to begin my couch to 5k over again since I just don't feel right about picking up where I left off. and sit down and do a meal plan for the week.

To be honest I felt like I let down some of the people that were cheering me on. Tonight the run begins again this time I must and will stick with it. Thanks again for the support.

The battle of the scales

Still being new to this whole exercise thing there are a lot of things I don't know. One is why don't any scales read the same. Got up early this morning and checked out my rummage sale scale I got for a buck. So far, love it!!!! Said I was at 290, I didn't weigh myself on the digital since I just wanted to get going. I grabbed my I pod and went to work, about half way through the couch to 5k work out my shins started burning. Not pain burning just work out tired burning. Now I really don't remember this happening when I was 18 and running all over the place. So I will just blame it on early morning not the 10 years of not doing squat.

By the end I had done a 30 minutes of exercise. I rand 8 minutes @ 4 miles an hour and walked 22 minutes at 3 miles and hour. I can walk all day, last year  I was walking 1.5 hours at 3 miles an hour. Just didn't seem to do much. I even walked home from Dublin Square after a whiskey tasting event. Seemed like a short walk but I can assure you 2nd and main to Sunrise Drive near central is a haul. On the bright side...... stone cold sober by the time I made it home.  I guess I am a little confused on the couch to 5k program, it has 3 work outs per week. Is that all I do??? It says to rest but everything in me is saying at least walk? I don't know this stuff so it makes it hard but I guess I will just fly by the seat of my pants.

I went in an weighed in on the digital scale and that sun of a gun said 294. So who is lying. I ran upstairs and got back on the rummage sale scale and it said 294. What, why, how the blazes does that happen. I think they chatted while I was running and put conspired against me. I am hypothesizing that running made the blood swell into the tissue and  look like  I weigh more. I really don't know. I will check both in the morning after waking and see if they still are working together. I honestly don't know what to think but I am going to pick the rummage sale scale and go with it.

Over all if the rummage sale scale is right I have lost eight pounds since I started. Not bad but lots more work to do.

New Dawn of a new Day?

Beautiful weather today..... well, all week. Got up early this morning and got the treadmill situated and went to work. I am trying the couch to 5k app on my ipod. This program looks like it will work well, my biggest problem is the constant up and down on the speed. walk down, down, run, up up up. I dropped my iPod 5 times trying to adjust the speed, Thinking an arm band we have will need to be employed or else i will have no app or tunes for the run. Since I can walk forever this is a great program to get me stepping it up to a run since it alternates.

Next I got me some garden fresh green beans at Festivals, love me some green beans. Alas after two days my little bag is no more. They were awesome tho!! Not sure how many you can eat and still be good for you but I feel I must be pushing the limits.

Lastly, Sunday I will introduce some of the Advocare products I like so much. 24 day challenge baby. Lost 10-15 pounds last time I did it by the book. I know, I know the first 8-10 is cleaning the crap out and having less water and food laying around but don't tell my eyes that they just see the number. LOL.

Over all making the baby steps I need to make so  I can take the big steps in the future.  I would kind of like to give some of the bigger clothes I have bought over the last few months back to good will and let someone else borrow them for a while until they get inspired. I also need to look at a new scale. mine seems to jump around depending on where it is on the floor and the direction it was pushed. I just go with the average but might just have to go back to the old dial type. It was good enough for grandpa so it is good enough for me.

Looking ahead  I see a bright, light future that will take work but be worth the investment in time and resources. I already have had great encouragement from some super friends and family. With their encouragement and my lovely wife's watchful eye on my eating  I should do just fine. Thanks again everyone!

jess

Quaks don't just come from ducks

Quacks don't just come from ducks............ Evidently they come from clinics too. I went in for my scheduled appointment with a doctor that does hernia surgeries. I get his intern who asks lots of questions and attempts some sort of voodoo by trying to rip the hernia open with her bare hands so she could "feel the edges". After that they give me the once over and in comes the doctor. He introduces himself, and I thought he was just a little cold but ok I will just listen to what he says. The duck.... I mean doc looked at the computer screen and pointed to a number on the screen. He then turned to me and said do you know what this BMI number means? I responded yes high bad, low good. He got a little pissy and said you don't know then, it is a way of telling how obese you are. I let him lay out his stupid story of the different thresholds (most of which he couldn't even get right without a couple trys) and where I fell. He said I fell in 47 bmi and morbidly obese. Thinking to my self that I call BS but OK what will come next? He continued that he can do the surgery but does not like to because if  I don't loose weight I will just do it again. Insert eye roll and WHATEVER here! He then said I need professional help to lose the weight and wants me to go to a bariatric surgery meeting/seminar to learn about gastric bypass. I told him that I was losing weight until they told me to stop everything until I saw them. I said p90x was working and eating better. He had no idea what p90x was and got mouthy when I said I would work on it myself. He finally asked what p90x was and I explained it was an extreme work out to which he responded exercise won't do much for you. (what???) He said again I needed to go to the meeting and get the information besides do you know how many calories you burn in a 40 minute jog. I guessed about 300? He snapped back that it was only 2 apples worth of calories and that is not enough for me, exercise isn't the answer.

Evidently surgery was the answer to any problem for him so I told him I would pursue avenues of my own. They guy wouldn't give up! ( I later found out that Bariatric Surgery is how he makes his money) He kept on the bariatric "professional help" route and would I at least go see a dietitian he would recommend? I told him I would do it my self and see who I wanted and left. I will see one but it will be my own choice of person and on my own schedule. I don't need one  of his henchmen doing another round of pushing. I think the help on proper foods and portion control is good help.

Now I am a big boy, I won't argue that point with anyone. I know alot of this weight has also come on in the last year or two as well but it will be a process and will require help, that is where friends that know how can help but most of it falls on me! I will work on it myself but I do not need the easy way out, I am not that heavy and unable to do it for my self. So here is to a new era.

Oh ya and by the way Screw that guy.

PS> Cassie and I are walking out and I am biting my tongue and steaming. Cassie looks at me and says, "Wow was it just me or was he a pompous ass?" Thank you for always reading my mind babe! love ya!

I can and will do this! later

Follys, fitness, and life.

We all know life happens. In my case nothing happens. When you know you have to change you know it, and I do! The question is what happens to the motivation? I get pumped up at the end of the week to begin but the fear sets in of how to do what I need to. I am no fitness guy and really don't know where to start. I can't really afford to do a gym or weight watchers. I tried p90x and liked it but am leery of doing it again since I pulled a muscle last time and halted all my weight loss and excersice. So after talking with a friend this weekend here is my plan.

1. eat better
2. portion control
3. activity-

The activity portion should be easy since I have a treadmill. I am going to try the couch to 5k app and see how that works. Starting friday morning we will attempt this.

Here goes nothing!

jess

Nothing is ever easy

Well I have been called the old Bull Moose by my family for a long time now. Now this nick name came honestly, not because I could bugle like a moose but because  I could move heavy items by myself with relatively no help. I owned it and was pretty proud of it until about February. I came home from work and was feeling very ill. Stomach upset and just kind of a sharp pain in my belly button area. I tried the normal remedy but to no avail. Eventually I just pushed on the area to see if it was tender and low and behold I felt a little pop and started feeling better. I knew right then that the years of 300lb air conditioners and whole couches by my self had just got their revenge. I had ruptured an umbilical hernia, but it did not hurt and rarely popped so I let it go. After I pulled and "ottendafay"......... you know something you otten do but do anyway, and moved some furniture by my self I had it popping anytime I was upright. I spoke to the doc and she said that I need to be referred to a specialist and I should take it easy. I said I was going be doing P90x to which she told me that it was not a good idea right now until I was seen. There is just too much pulling on the ab wall in the exercises.

So that advice being said  I will reluctantly hold of p90x and just start walking. I have my surgery consult on Wednesday next week. I guess we will see if my greatest weight loss will be from a surgery that makes me sore and not hungry. We will have to wait and see.

til then,
Jess

You have up days and down days today was an up day. Not up as getting up like I planned early but up as in I feel a bit of confidence going into today. I ate an ok breakfast am back to drinking water again. weight held at a 296ish.(have to average) since I still haven't bought that new scale. Lots to get done tonight. There is a garage full of crap to go to goodwill, house to clean, repairs to make, laundry to put away, and day one of p90x to do. Not looking overly eagerly at this since it is push ups if I recall right. I know a person gets stronger over time but pullups and push ups bug me the most since I still remember how many I did in high school. How many you ask well...................... Numbers aren't important lets just focus on how few I can do now. lets say single digits. I will endure and get it knocked out but the biggest portion is my portion control.

I  came from a large family of seven. With two brothers and two sisters there was a lot of competition for food. I still remember my brother hiding the pickled beets under his chair so he got them all. Dad was not pleased. I am 35 and still live by the eat as much as you can while you can..........clean your plate so it won't go to waste........... Eat a boat load at the buffet because I need my moneys worth. This cycle has to end and I know it. I find myself not eating in the morning and then gorging at night. God bless cassie she does try to curb me but then I get pissy cause she is telling me I can't have it. She will eventually let me get what  I want and then I force down the last sandwich when I was fine and content with what she said  I should eat. "I also hate to admit she was right" This I know will be a long term fix and take work but I can do this. Just have to unlearn 30 years of eating habits.

Well wish me luck on tonight's work out!

Fitness is a state of mind is something I read one time. To some degree they are right fitness takes a lot of will power and determination. Both of which i have very little of. I have started this daily blog as a way of keeping my self accountable without the in your face aspect of Facebook. People I think are tired of everyone going on and on about their fitness goals and achievements. With a blog people have to make an effort to click on this and read it, not just me throwing it out for everyone. That said here are the facts.

I have been steadily putting on the pounds for a couple years now and I guess it kind of caught me off guard when my 38" waist pants started to get hard to buckle. Now I used the easy excuses of they are old and probably shrunk, you know each manufacturers pants fit different, and maybe  I just ate too much. However those excuses wear a bit thin when all of the makers and styles fit (or not fit) the same. Insert sad face smiley here....... I still convinced myself it is just isolated and I will drop it soon enough. I don't look that bad, or did I. Some times the little push comes from the littlest things or people. While reclining on the sofa at a friends house, his four year old comes up and put her hand on my belly and asked if there is a baby in there. I laughed and told her that boys don't have babies only girls do. She looked confused and asked, " if there is no baby then why is your belly so big?" I kind of stopped and looked at her and just said because Jesse is too fat for his pants so that is the extra. I meant it as a joke and she seemed cool with that answer. Although meant as a joke the fact that that was an OK answer for her made me rethink my whole assessment of the situation. Maybe it wasn't the pants fault..... maybe it was my need to eat what ever  I want when I want to. Ten o clock pm pizza???? sounded good before. Why not in this moment? Did I look that bad?? The question rolled around in my head for the whole ride home. I looked in the mirror, hmm not bad, I have always been a stocky guy. I was just a bit stockier. Now friends there was one small difference from every other time I looked in this mirror. I pulled out the scale and looked up at the mirror only this was a profile. CRAP!! Evidently front views lie and sooth your ego..... profiles are the in your face two year old pointing and laughing. I did a quick weigh in and realized after a few tries of changing the weight on the scale by stepping off and on again since it must be broken two facts. One is the scale may be broken since I gain or loose a pound depending on where it is sitting on the floor and I was one pound away from 400............399.6 to be exact but that is besides the point. I realized I had his an all time low. I needed to do something soon or  I would end up a statistic and picture in the paper.

I tried p90x and was doing good. I felt great and was liking the work out.....well mostly. I ate ok still not great because I would skip meals and eat tons at night but hey it was something right? After two weeks I pulled a muscle in my arm and had to put the brakes on. Now here was a cross roads.. Life is full of choices, I could walk on my treadmill or I could retire for a bit and rest it and me. I will just start again when it is better I told myself. Liar!!!!! After weeks of rest it was back to normal, Ummmm ya so was the weight and laziness. I have tried to start again only I just can't find the motivation until the just now. The weather has turned and made me think of Crater Island, a local boating hang out. What makes you think of that and gets you motivation you ask?? One word.............Swim trunks. I just saw a picture of last summer, great googly moogly. I might need to start wearing a shirt out there. MAN. I now must commit to getting the belly in check and fit into my old swim trunks and jeans. I can't think about it, I have to! If my own vanity isn't a motivator enough the family history of massive heart attack is. I will again begin my routine of p90x at 4:30am and advocare products. I managed to drop 7 pounds with better eating but eating won't do it alone.

Wish me luck tomorrow I start my new and improved life. I can and will do this and I hope this blog will keep me accountable.

jess