Fitness is a state of mind is something I read one time. To some degree they are right fitness takes a lot of will power and determination. Both of which i have very little of. I have started this daily blog as a way of keeping my self accountable without the in your face aspect of Facebook. People I think are tired of everyone going on and on about their fitness goals and achievements. With a blog people have to make an effort to click on this and read it, not just me throwing it out for everyone. That said here are the facts.

I have been steadily putting on the pounds for a couple years now and I guess it kind of caught me off guard when my 38" waist pants started to get hard to buckle. Now I used the easy excuses of they are old and probably shrunk, you know each manufacturers pants fit different, and maybe  I just ate too much. However those excuses wear a bit thin when all of the makers and styles fit (or not fit) the same. Insert sad face smiley here....... I still convinced myself it is just isolated and I will drop it soon enough. I don't look that bad, or did I. Some times the little push comes from the littlest things or people. While reclining on the sofa at a friends house, his four year old comes up and put her hand on my belly and asked if there is a baby in there. I laughed and told her that boys don't have babies only girls do. She looked confused and asked, " if there is no baby then why is your belly so big?" I kind of stopped and looked at her and just said because Jesse is too fat for his pants so that is the extra. I meant it as a joke and she seemed cool with that answer. Although meant as a joke the fact that that was an OK answer for her made me rethink my whole assessment of the situation. Maybe it wasn't the pants fault..... maybe it was my need to eat what ever  I want when I want to. Ten o clock pm pizza???? sounded good before. Why not in this moment? Did I look that bad?? The question rolled around in my head for the whole ride home. I looked in the mirror, hmm not bad, I have always been a stocky guy. I was just a bit stockier. Now friends there was one small difference from every other time I looked in this mirror. I pulled out the scale and looked up at the mirror only this was a profile. CRAP!! Evidently front views lie and sooth your ego..... profiles are the in your face two year old pointing and laughing. I did a quick weigh in and realized after a few tries of changing the weight on the scale by stepping off and on again since it must be broken two facts. One is the scale may be broken since I gain or loose a pound depending on where it is sitting on the floor and I was one pound away from 400............399.6 to be exact but that is besides the point. I realized I had his an all time low. I needed to do something soon or  I would end up a statistic and picture in the paper.

I tried p90x and was doing good. I felt great and was liking the work out.....well mostly. I ate ok still not great because I would skip meals and eat tons at night but hey it was something right? After two weeks I pulled a muscle in my arm and had to put the brakes on. Now here was a cross roads.. Life is full of choices, I could walk on my treadmill or I could retire for a bit and rest it and me. I will just start again when it is better I told myself. Liar!!!!! After weeks of rest it was back to normal, Ummmm ya so was the weight and laziness. I have tried to start again only I just can't find the motivation until the just now. The weather has turned and made me think of Crater Island, a local boating hang out. What makes you think of that and gets you motivation you ask?? One word.............Swim trunks. I just saw a picture of last summer, great googly moogly. I might need to start wearing a shirt out there. MAN. I now must commit to getting the belly in check and fit into my old swim trunks and jeans. I can't think about it, I have to! If my own vanity isn't a motivator enough the family history of massive heart attack is. I will again begin my routine of p90x at 4:30am and advocare products. I managed to drop 7 pounds with better eating but eating won't do it alone.

Wish me luck tomorrow I start my new and improved life. I can and will do this and I hope this blog will keep me accountable.

jess