Quaks don't just come from ducks

Quacks don't just come from ducks............ Evidently they come from clinics too. I went in for my scheduled appointment with a doctor that does hernia surgeries. I get his intern who asks lots of questions and attempts some sort of voodoo by trying to rip the hernia open with her bare hands so she could "feel the edges". After that they give me the once over and in comes the doctor. He introduces himself, and I thought he was just a little cold but ok I will just listen to what he says. The duck.... I mean doc looked at the computer screen and pointed to a number on the screen. He then turned to me and said do you know what this BMI number means? I responded yes high bad, low good. He got a little pissy and said you don't know then, it is a way of telling how obese you are. I let him lay out his stupid story of the different thresholds (most of which he couldn't even get right without a couple trys) and where I fell. He said I fell in 47 bmi and morbidly obese. Thinking to my self that I call BS but OK what will come next? He continued that he can do the surgery but does not like to because if  I don't loose weight I will just do it again. Insert eye roll and WHATEVER here! He then said I need professional help to lose the weight and wants me to go to a bariatric surgery meeting/seminar to learn about gastric bypass. I told him that I was losing weight until they told me to stop everything until I saw them. I said p90x was working and eating better. He had no idea what p90x was and got mouthy when I said I would work on it myself. He finally asked what p90x was and I explained it was an extreme work out to which he responded exercise won't do much for you. (what???) He said again I needed to go to the meeting and get the information besides do you know how many calories you burn in a 40 minute jog. I guessed about 300? He snapped back that it was only 2 apples worth of calories and that is not enough for me, exercise isn't the answer.

Evidently surgery was the answer to any problem for him so I told him I would pursue avenues of my own. They guy wouldn't give up! ( I later found out that Bariatric Surgery is how he makes his money) He kept on the bariatric "professional help" route and would I at least go see a dietitian he would recommend? I told him I would do it my self and see who I wanted and left. I will see one but it will be my own choice of person and on my own schedule. I don't need one  of his henchmen doing another round of pushing. I think the help on proper foods and portion control is good help.

Now I am a big boy, I won't argue that point with anyone. I know alot of this weight has also come on in the last year or two as well but it will be a process and will require help, that is where friends that know how can help but most of it falls on me! I will work on it myself but I do not need the easy way out, I am not that heavy and unable to do it for my self. So here is to a new era.

Oh ya and by the way Screw that guy.

PS> Cassie and I are walking out and I am biting my tongue and steaming. Cassie looks at me and says, "Wow was it just me or was he a pompous ass?" Thank you for always reading my mind babe! love ya!

I can and will do this! later

Follys, fitness, and life.

We all know life happens. In my case nothing happens. When you know you have to change you know it, and I do! The question is what happens to the motivation? I get pumped up at the end of the week to begin but the fear sets in of how to do what I need to. I am no fitness guy and really don't know where to start. I can't really afford to do a gym or weight watchers. I tried p90x and liked it but am leery of doing it again since I pulled a muscle last time and halted all my weight loss and excersice. So after talking with a friend this weekend here is my plan.

1. eat better
2. portion control
3. activity-

The activity portion should be easy since I have a treadmill. I am going to try the couch to 5k app and see how that works. Starting friday morning we will attempt this.

Here goes nothing!

jess

Nothing is ever easy

Well I have been called the old Bull Moose by my family for a long time now. Now this nick name came honestly, not because I could bugle like a moose but because  I could move heavy items by myself with relatively no help. I owned it and was pretty proud of it until about February. I came home from work and was feeling very ill. Stomach upset and just kind of a sharp pain in my belly button area. I tried the normal remedy but to no avail. Eventually I just pushed on the area to see if it was tender and low and behold I felt a little pop and started feeling better. I knew right then that the years of 300lb air conditioners and whole couches by my self had just got their revenge. I had ruptured an umbilical hernia, but it did not hurt and rarely popped so I let it go. After I pulled and "ottendafay"......... you know something you otten do but do anyway, and moved some furniture by my self I had it popping anytime I was upright. I spoke to the doc and she said that I need to be referred to a specialist and I should take it easy. I said I was going be doing P90x to which she told me that it was not a good idea right now until I was seen. There is just too much pulling on the ab wall in the exercises.

So that advice being said  I will reluctantly hold of p90x and just start walking. I have my surgery consult on Wednesday next week. I guess we will see if my greatest weight loss will be from a surgery that makes me sore and not hungry. We will have to wait and see.

til then,
Jess

You have up days and down days today was an up day. Not up as getting up like I planned early but up as in I feel a bit of confidence going into today. I ate an ok breakfast am back to drinking water again. weight held at a 296ish.(have to average) since I still haven't bought that new scale. Lots to get done tonight. There is a garage full of crap to go to goodwill, house to clean, repairs to make, laundry to put away, and day one of p90x to do. Not looking overly eagerly at this since it is push ups if I recall right. I know a person gets stronger over time but pullups and push ups bug me the most since I still remember how many I did in high school. How many you ask well...................... Numbers aren't important lets just focus on how few I can do now. lets say single digits. I will endure and get it knocked out but the biggest portion is my portion control.

I  came from a large family of seven. With two brothers and two sisters there was a lot of competition for food. I still remember my brother hiding the pickled beets under his chair so he got them all. Dad was not pleased. I am 35 and still live by the eat as much as you can while you can..........clean your plate so it won't go to waste........... Eat a boat load at the buffet because I need my moneys worth. This cycle has to end and I know it. I find myself not eating in the morning and then gorging at night. God bless cassie she does try to curb me but then I get pissy cause she is telling me I can't have it. She will eventually let me get what  I want and then I force down the last sandwich when I was fine and content with what she said  I should eat. "I also hate to admit she was right" This I know will be a long term fix and take work but I can do this. Just have to unlearn 30 years of eating habits.

Well wish me luck on tonight's work out!

Fitness is a state of mind is something I read one time. To some degree they are right fitness takes a lot of will power and determination. Both of which i have very little of. I have started this daily blog as a way of keeping my self accountable without the in your face aspect of Facebook. People I think are tired of everyone going on and on about their fitness goals and achievements. With a blog people have to make an effort to click on this and read it, not just me throwing it out for everyone. That said here are the facts.

I have been steadily putting on the pounds for a couple years now and I guess it kind of caught me off guard when my 38" waist pants started to get hard to buckle. Now I used the easy excuses of they are old and probably shrunk, you know each manufacturers pants fit different, and maybe  I just ate too much. However those excuses wear a bit thin when all of the makers and styles fit (or not fit) the same. Insert sad face smiley here....... I still convinced myself it is just isolated and I will drop it soon enough. I don't look that bad, or did I. Some times the little push comes from the littlest things or people. While reclining on the sofa at a friends house, his four year old comes up and put her hand on my belly and asked if there is a baby in there. I laughed and told her that boys don't have babies only girls do. She looked confused and asked, " if there is no baby then why is your belly so big?" I kind of stopped and looked at her and just said because Jesse is too fat for his pants so that is the extra. I meant it as a joke and she seemed cool with that answer. Although meant as a joke the fact that that was an OK answer for her made me rethink my whole assessment of the situation. Maybe it wasn't the pants fault..... maybe it was my need to eat what ever  I want when I want to. Ten o clock pm pizza???? sounded good before. Why not in this moment? Did I look that bad?? The question rolled around in my head for the whole ride home. I looked in the mirror, hmm not bad, I have always been a stocky guy. I was just a bit stockier. Now friends there was one small difference from every other time I looked in this mirror. I pulled out the scale and looked up at the mirror only this was a profile. CRAP!! Evidently front views lie and sooth your ego..... profiles are the in your face two year old pointing and laughing. I did a quick weigh in and realized after a few tries of changing the weight on the scale by stepping off and on again since it must be broken two facts. One is the scale may be broken since I gain or loose a pound depending on where it is sitting on the floor and I was one pound away from 400............399.6 to be exact but that is besides the point. I realized I had his an all time low. I needed to do something soon or  I would end up a statistic and picture in the paper.

I tried p90x and was doing good. I felt great and was liking the work out.....well mostly. I ate ok still not great because I would skip meals and eat tons at night but hey it was something right? After two weeks I pulled a muscle in my arm and had to put the brakes on. Now here was a cross roads.. Life is full of choices, I could walk on my treadmill or I could retire for a bit and rest it and me. I will just start again when it is better I told myself. Liar!!!!! After weeks of rest it was back to normal, Ummmm ya so was the weight and laziness. I have tried to start again only I just can't find the motivation until the just now. The weather has turned and made me think of Crater Island, a local boating hang out. What makes you think of that and gets you motivation you ask?? One word.............Swim trunks. I just saw a picture of last summer, great googly moogly. I might need to start wearing a shirt out there. MAN. I now must commit to getting the belly in check and fit into my old swim trunks and jeans. I can't think about it, I have to! If my own vanity isn't a motivator enough the family history of massive heart attack is. I will again begin my routine of p90x at 4:30am and advocare products. I managed to drop 7 pounds with better eating but eating won't do it alone.

Wish me luck tomorrow I start my new and improved life. I can and will do this and I hope this blog will keep me accountable.

jess